I wish I could say I was writing this post from experience, from the experience of a battle fought and won. But honestly, I’m writing it from a place of deep desperation and pain. A place of raw bitterness with tiny fragments of hope that are clinging to the darkness simply because I refuse to give up.
This past season was supposed to be one of rest and restoration. I certainly put in enough rest – rest that was forced upon me by a body that refused to function. But the more I tried, the farther away my goals seemed to get. Despite the work. Despite the prayers. Despite the tears shed as I called out to God in frustration. I’ve had to fight tooth and nail for every inch of progress I’ve made in any given area of my life over the last few years, and I’m EXHAUSTED.
Does this sound like you? Have you been struggling to find a foothold in the darkness? Have you been crying out to God, only to feel like your cries are bouncing off the ceiling? If so, know that you are not alone. And that there’s a purpose to this season you’re in.
Why the Trouble?
Let him who walks in darkness and has no light trust in the name of the Lord and rely on His God. Isaiah 50:10
I came across this verse a few years ago, and it has stuck with me. I feel like I’m walking in darkness. Like I have no light. Has God led me to the wilderness and left me there with nothing to lean on but my faith? That is what it feels like. Surely, after many years of carrying me through so much affliction, he hasn’t deserted me. Has he?
No matter what He’s doing, I’m determined to bloom where I’m planted, even if that means I bloom in the desert. I’m going to make the most of this season of life so that I’m ready for the next season. My long period of dormant rest is over, spring is calling, and I must answer. I must grow. No matter what.
Here’s what I’m doing to make sure that happens, and you can use these tips, too.
Keep a Growth Mindset
There’s a reason for everything. I know it’s an old cliché and one we’re tired of hearing. As a very purpose-driven person, I need there to be reason. Not a reason I like, not a reason that makes sense. A reason for my suffering to be productive.
I’ve been searching for a reason for a long time. I haven’t found one. I’m not sure there is one, to be honest. But by golly, something will come from this. Something will rise from the ashes – something that would not have otherwise existed. I refuse to let this dark storm steal everything that is good about me. So, I’ll grow. I’ll choose to be watered and worked until a beautiful sprout emerges from the fertile ground of my heart and grows into something worthwhile. I’ll grow if that’s the only good thing I can get out of my situation. I’ll figure out how I can use the storm to morph into a better version of myself.
Focus on how the trial can change you. When the lesson isn’t clear, seek it out. Find it. Make it your goal to grow through the pain and make sure all that pain isn’t for nothing. It’s ok to create your own purpose while waiting for God to reveal His.
Take Out the Weeds
Pain is a teacher. Physically, when we’re in pain, our bodies compensate by altering the way they function. For instance, if a knee hurts, you might limp. If, like me, you have hip problems, you might walk differently. This can bring relief, but it can also create further problems.
Emotionally, it’s much the same. When we hurt, we do things we wouldn’t otherwise do. Trials and turmoil can bring out the worst in us and expose those parts of us we’d rather keep hidden. Let them be seen. Acknowledge them. Then let them go. Promise yourself and your loved ones that you will learn a better way to cope. Go to therapy, journal, or just find ways to relax and breathe through the pain. You won’t regret becoming a better person when all is said and done.
It’s ok if things get ugly. It’s ok to acknowledge the unsavory parts of our hearts that come out to play when things get tough. We get to put those parts of us in the light and hope for redemption. We can’t grow what we don’t put in the light.
Look for the Glimmers
No matter how gloomy life feels, there are glimmers of hope, moments of peace, instances of laughter and promise. It might be something as simple as the beautiful chorus of birds you hear from your back porch. Or it might be that one-off day you suddenly felt a little better. Look for the positive notes. Write them down and remember them. Count them up and see how many tiny, happy things happen during your day. Why? Because this rewires your brain. Our brains are neuroplastic, which means our mindsets are not set in stone. They can be changed, but it takes conscious effort to change them.
Besides looking for the glimmers, my favorite way to do this is through guided visualization. Meditation can also be helpful. Or simply taking an appreciation walk – a slow walk through nature where you keep negative thoughts out and only dwell on happy things.
Regardless of how you go about it, purposely bring some positivity into your day. You might have to create it yourself some days. That’s ok. It’ll add up over time and you’ll find yourself slowly shifting to a more positive mindset.
Trust God While You Wait
Who says you can’t take matters into your own hands while waiting on God? That’s the point of this post, isn’t it? To bloom and grow and produce good fruit, even while you can’t hear Him? Even while it feels like He’s not showing up, maybe not even paying attention to you?
We’re not usurping His sovereignty – we can’t do that. There is still space for Him to move, for Him to carve a path for us to follow. Don’t stop seeking Him during the hardest times – that’s when we need Him most. Wait for Him. Wait patiently. And know that He hasn’t changed. He may be working behind the scenes on something unfathomably wonderful. Or He may be testing you. Perhaps He’s preparing you for the next season. We don’t have to have the answers to trust that He is “working out all things for the good of those who love Him.” Romans 8:28 Let Him produce a change in you that is useful in the next season.
Conclusion
It isn’t about finding purpose in the pain. It’s about finding hope. If we have something to hope for, we have a reason to keep fighting, to keep waiting. Through the pain and through the silence. You can bloom right where you are. You can be the beautiful sprout of hope pushing up through the solid ground, determined to show the world just how resilient you are. Let your light shine, and don’t you ever let anything take it away.
Related blogs: How to Avoid Having a Scarcity Mindset
Leave a Reply